An Extra Shot of SoCo
by JiffyKate
Summary: Outtakes and futuretakes from Southern Comfort. It's just lagniappe, which is Cajun for "a little somethin' extra"!
1. Outtake 1 No Ordinary Love

**Disclaimer: Twilight is not ours. We are just having fun letting our favorite characters play around in the south. Here is a little peek into Bella and Edward's first night in New Orleans. Enjoy!**

(BPOV)

Edward slams the door shut just before he pushes me against it, his mouth crashing into mine. I'm pulling his hair roughly as our tongues fight for dominance. It's like I can't get enough of him; kissing him is a direct link to my survival.

He attacks my neck, my shoulders, my collar bone. My skin is raised pink and wet from his licks and bites and I can't control the moan that makes its way out of my mouth. Edward grabs my ass and picks me up, pinning me against the door and my legs naturally wrap around his waist.

I am now at the perfect height to feel his hard-on against my center and I have never been so thankful to be wearing a skirt. We have never been like this before. Making love to Edward is always amazing. It is the perfect mixture of sexy and sweet, fun and passionate, loving and fucking. But this. Right now. This feels like a caged animal being released, like my body is on fire and only Edward can soothe it.

I am pulled from my thoughts when I feel Edward's mouth leave my skin.

"Hey. Weren't you supposed to give me a private show?"

Wait. What?

I move my sweaty hair away from my forehead. I need to look at his face to see if he is serious or not.

"Edward, what the hell are you talking about?"

"You know...at The Cat's Meow you said you'd give me a private show." He looks at me through his eyelashes.

How does he do that? How does he go from being a sex-starved maniac one minute to a shy virginal-type the next, asking for a lap dance?

I run my fingers through his hair and laugh. "Well, yeah, I did say that, but I thought things were going pretty well like they were. I can always give you a show another time."

His eyes pierce me as he simply says, "Please, Bella."

I thought my heart was pounding before. But now...his face and those words...fuck me. How can I ever say "no" to him? He must think I'm going to deny his request, so he continues.

"Dance for me, Baby. I promise I'll fuck you so good," he whispers against my skin.

Yep, I'm dead.

After I swallow a few times and clear my throat, making a way for my voice to leave my body, I simply say, "Ok."

He gently places me on the floor and backs up to the bed, his eyes never leaving mine.

I walk over to my suitcase and take out my iPod, quickly finding the song I want to dance to. I put the song on 'repeat', push play with the volume turned up all the way, before placing it beside Edward.

I stand a few steps in front of him, with my back facing him, as the music slowly begins to creep around the room. This will be everything my performance at the karaoke bar was not. There, the song was fast, fun, sexy, and a bit silly. Here, in the privacy of our room, Sade's voice carries a blatant sensuality, lust flowing from her words, making my body move on its own accord.

I sway my hips as I turn to face Edward. This is not a performance. This is me showing him how much I want him, showing him what he does to me, constantly. The air is thick with sexual tension, our desire heating the space around us.

I slowly unbutton my shirt and let it hang open. As I shimmy my shoulders a bit, the material gently falls to the floor. I continue to gyrate my hips and move to the music, while throwing my head back. My eyes close, not to break my connection with Edward, but to allow myself to fully absorb the power he gives me. Dancing for him is freeing and I feel lighter because of it.

I reach behind my back and unclasp my bra. Picking my head up and looking back at Edward, I drop the lace at his feet. His eyes are hooded, but I can still see them. They're not bright green anymore. They're more of an olive shade now. I am already feeling that familiar burning between my legs and my nipples are hard, another sign of my arousal. I see him lick his full, pink lips at the sight of my breasts and it drives me crazy.

I turn my back to him so that I can think more clearly. I hook my thumbs into the waistband of my skirt and slowly scoot it down my hips. When it reaches just under my ass, I bend over and slide the skirt all the way down, giving him a little wiggle at the same time. I hear Edward groan so I look over my shoulder and see that he is gripping the bedspread tightly, as if he's slipping off the edge of a cliff.

"Fuck, Bella, you are killin' me. Can I have you now?"

I can't help but giggle. His resolve falters so quickly, he really has no self-control when it comes to us and I absolutely love him for it. I step out of my skirt and turn back to face him. "Baby, you barely made it through the entire song. Are you sure you want me to stop?"

"I didn't say I wanted you to 'stop'. What I was trying to say is 'Get your ass over here so I can fuck you properly'. I'm sorry if you were confused before. Did I make myself clear enough for you this time?" He smirks at me and my resolve quickly dissipates as well.

I close the distance between us, grab his face, and pull him to my lips. I suck his tongue into my mouth, as I climb onto his lap, straddling him. I pull away just far enough so that I can pull his t-shirt over his head. I place my hands on his chest and push, making him fall back onto the bed.

I start kissing his chest, teasing and licking his nipples just like he does mine. I gently bite down on one and he involuntarily thrusts his hips into me. The next thing I feel are the blankets on my back, as Edward quickly flips me over so that he is the one on top now.

His pants are still on, but that doesn't stop him from pushing his dick between my legs.

"Do you feel this? Do you feel what you do to me? Watching you dance like that..for me..that was the sexiest thing I've ever seen. I can't wait any longer, Bella. I want you so fucking bad."

"Show me whatcha got, then, Big Boy!"

He stands up and raises his eyebrows at me. "Oh, I'll show you, alright!" His pants are off in a flash and I am rewarded with the sight of his beautiful cock. I automatically clench my thighs together to give myself a tiny bit of friction.

"Oh, no, you don't. That's my job. But, first, these have to go," he says as he grabs onto the sides of my panties. I bite my bottom lip as I watch him make one quick pull, the drenched satin now hanging in his hands. He tosses the material to the floor and crawls back on top of me.

I crave the feeling of his weight on me and I hook my heels around his calves, not allowing him to move off of me. He pushes both of my knees up to where my legs are resting higher on his back and, without warning, he slams into me.

I cry out, not in pain, but in ecstasy, because he fills me completely. He intertwines his fingers with mine and holds our hands over my head as he thrusts in swift, powerful movements. I can feel the bed beneath us moving in time, but I'm not bothered enough to worry about our neighbors in the next room. All that matters is Edward and me, here and now.

He pushes up a little, so that he is resting on his forearms and starts kissing my breasts. His pace speeds up and he is angled so that his pelvis hits my clit perfectly.

"Oh, Edward...I'm so...close...so close."

"I know, Baby, me too. Let go, Bella."

His teeth clamp down on my nipple and I am done for. White light surrounds me as I scream out my orgasm. I grab onto his back, holding him to me, willing him to never stop moving when I feel him explode in his climax. He loses control of his body for a moment as he thrashes against me, panting and groaning in my ear.

It could be minutes or hours later, when our bodies have calmed enough so that we are breathing normally again, I really don't know. Nor do I care. That was some of the best sex I've ever had and I can't wait to do it again...but not just yet. I simply don't have the energy right now.

Edward slowly pulls out of me, taking his condom off and tossing it into the trash can nearby, before collapsing next to me and pulling me onto his chest.

"That was incredible, Baby. My heart is still racing," he says as he kisses the top of my head.

"It was. I'm glad you remembered to put the "Do Not Disturb" sign on the door before we started," I laugh.

"I'm pretty sure we were loud enough that no one will be bothering us for the rest of the night!"

I blush, the thought of anyone hearing what just happened embarrassing me a little. Just as I snuggle more into Edward's side and start to drift off to sleep, I hear sounds from the room next to us. A low base is coming through the wall, "_bend over to the front and touch your toes, back dat ass up and down and get low_..." and I recognize Alice's voice as I hear her yell out her approval of whatever it is Jasper is doing to her. We then hear his reply in the form of their bed beating up against our wall and we can't help but laugh. Apparently we aren't the only ones enjoying our first night in New Orleans.

**A/N**:

**Jiff**: Oh, to be a fly on that wall...well, I guess we already are, huh? LOL JK is in Cali this weekend so, I'm flying solo on this one! Maybe I should have a conversation with FakeJennyKateWhoIsInCali and make her tell me how pretty and funny and sweet and amazing I am!

**FakeJennyKateWhoIsInCali**: Jiff, you are so pretty and funny and sweet and amazing!

**Jiff**: Yeah, that was awesome! Alright, my loverlies, have a most excellent weekend!

Much love to our beta ** TwiFanMom** and my hubby for pre-reading!


	2. Outtake 2 Lady Marmalade

**Disclaimer: We do not own the rights to Twilight but Jiff owns 2 articles of clothing from KStew's wardrobe from the first movie that she will never fit into. Now, let's see what kind of trouble our boys got into in Nola!**

(EPOV)

"Dammit, Em! Would you hurry up? I'm ready to start my bachelor party debauchery right the fuck now!" Jasper yells at my brother through the door. Jasper and I are standing in front of one of the many sex-toy shops on Bourbon Street while Emmett is inside still trying to decide on what to buy.

"Hang on! I can't make up my mind. I want to buy somethin' for Rosie...somethin' that she'll like and want to use, not somethin' that'll scare her," he says as he holds up a huge purple dildo. I shudder at the thought of anyone being big enough to get that humongous monster inside their body. That's just unnatural.

"You think I'm gonna stand here and watch you buy sex toys for my sister? You've done lost your damn mind! And, don't even think about carrying that plastic dick around tonight while we hit the strip clubs! If you see somethin' you can't live without, you can come back tomorrow before we head back home!"

I don't blame Jasper one bit for the way he feels but I can't help but laugh at my big brother as he holds up various dildos, vibrators, and who knows what else. He is taking this purchase very seriously and seems to be inspecting each item with an expert's eye. He holds up a glass object before shouting, "Hey, Jas! You think she'd like an anal plug?"

"I swear on all things holy, I will kick your ass if you buy that for Rose! Now get out of there so we can start this party!" Jasper then gives me a shove on my shoulder and I stumble backwards a little.

"What the hell is that for, man?" I ask.

"Why did we have to come here tonight? You know how Emmett is...it takes him 30 minutes just to pick out the candy he wants to eat when we go see a movie together! He can't handle all of these choices. His brain is going to go into overload!"

"Hey, _you_ are the one who pointed this place out in the first place. You should've known he'd go all crazy in there. He has a one-track mind, especially when it comes to sex," I remind him.

"Ugh...as happy as I am that Em and Rose both got their heads outta their asses and finally got together, I do NOT want to think of them bumpin' nasties. I still refer to Carter as 'the Second Immaculate Conception."

As I nod my head in agreement, Emmett is suddenly at the door with some kind of heart-shaped item in his hand. "I think I found the perfect thing for Rosie!"

Jasper steps inside the store and grabs the toy to read the tag. "'_Let your sweetheart know who's boss with this supple paddle. It's soft enough to let them know you care but firm enough to get your point across. Bend them over your lap and give them a spanking they won't soon forget._'"

Uh oh. Jasper's face is as red as a boiled crawfish and I swear, I see steam coming out of his ears. I'm beginning to think this is gonna be more entertaining than any strip club will be.

Jasper grabs the offending toy and throws on the nearest display counter before grabbing Emmett by his shirt and pulling him outside and pushing him against a brick wall.

"That's my sister you're talkin' about! I warned you, asshole! Now, I'm gonna have to kick your ass!"

Emmett's shoulders are shaking and I see small tears start to gather under his eyes. He's not crying; he's laughing, the big jerk. It starts off as a high-pitched wheeze-sounding laugh before he completely lets go and is howling with laughter.

With his hands still holding onto Emmett's shirt, Jasper asks,"What's so fuckin' funny, dickhead?"

Emmett finally catches his breath before answering, "The look on your face, Jas! Holy shit! The look on your face is priceless!" He starts coughing, trying to stop his laughter, as Jasper looks at him, confused.

Emmett settles down and gives Jasper a serious look. "Jas, come on. You know I'm only kidding. I love Rose with all of my heart; she's my life, man. I would never disrespect her."

Jasper takes a moment, trying to decide on whether or not to trust Emmett's words. After finally agreeing to give him the benefit of a doubt, he lets go of Emmett's shirt and takes a step back. There are two wrinkled circles on the front of Emmett's shirt, the material still bunched up from where Jasper had his death-grip. "I'm sorry for overreacting, Em. I know you love my sister. I just don't want to know what you two do in the bedroom, alright?"

"Sure, man, I understand. I was insensitive and totally deserving of your wrath."

Say what?

"Besides," Emmett continues with a big grin on his face, "Rosie already has one of those!"

Emmett shoots off running down the sidewalk, dodging people in the way as Jasper takes off after him, cussing the entire time. I just shake my head and follow them, laughing at their crazy behavior. They've been like this since they were kids and I don't see them changing any time soon.

After the three of us finish off our Cajun Cheeseburgers at Jimmy Buffett's Margaritaville Cafe, we decide we need to do some more walking around before we head to a strip club. Those cheeseburgers were huge and were topped with shrimp, crawfish, _and_ andouille sausage. I'm so full right now, I can barely breathe so I definitely need to walk my dinner off. If we were to go straight to the club right now, we'd probably fall asleep in our chairs and that'd just be too humiliating.

As we are walking back to Bourbon Street, we witness a man asking his girlfriend to marry him. I'm not a romance expert or anything but even I know that, if you're gonna do that here in New Orleans, there are much nicer places to propose than on Bourbon Street. Way to keep it classy, dude. But, whatever, she still said 'yes' so, good for them.

Seeing that couple, though, makes me think about Bella. I used to flinch just hearing the word 'marriage' but now that we are together, it enters my mind naturally. I don't have to think about _if_ I am going to ask her, I just have to decide _when_ to do it.

"Hey, Jas. What was goin' through your mind the other day when Alice proposed to you?"

"Oh, man, was that not the coolest thing ever? I mean, I know we haven't known each other for very long but I knew from that first argument we had debating Mick Jagger and Snoop Dogg at your birthday party, that she was the one for me. And, when you know you've found the love of your life, why wait to commit, just to be 'socially acceptable', y'know?"

My best friend is a very wise man. "And, you just happened to have a ring in your pocket. Were you plannin' on askin' Alice that same day?"

"I bought her ring the first time I visited her in Birmingham. I'd been carryin' it around, just waitin' for the right time to ask her. If she wouldn't have asked me when she did, I'd have asked her soon anyway. So, when are you gonna ask Bella?" He gives me a knowing look.

Damn, am I that obvious? I don't really care if he knows that I want to ask her, I just want it to be a surprise for her.

"I don't know, man. She still has shit to take care of up in New York before she can even move down here, so I know I need to wait until after that. I just don't want to mess anything up. I want it to be special for her."

I sound like a girl.

"It will be special whenever, wherever, and however you do it because you'll be askin' Bella to spend the rest of her life with you. Don't worry about the details, just do it!"

And, now, Jasper sounds like a girl. And a Nike commercial.

"I know, you're right. I'll keep you posted." I'm just starting to realize that Emmett hasn't jumped into this conversation and that is not like him at all. He has missed many opportunities to give both me and Jas a whole lotta shit for what we've been talkin' about. I look around only to find that he is not with us anymore.

"Um, Jas? Where the hell did Emmett run off to?"

He starts looking around, too, not finding him around the corner closest to us.

I hear him before I see him and it's quite clear that my brother is unhappy. In fact, he is down-right pissed off.

He finally catches up to where we are standing. His fists are clenched by his sides and it looks like he is grinding his teeth. This is not good.

"Emmett, where have you been and why are you so pissed off," I ask.

"Bra, I've been scammed by a peep show machine!"

Jasper and I give each other a confused look before turning back to Emmett.

"Buddy, you're gonna have to give us more information than that," Jasper tries.

"Over there! In front of the window with the girl's legs poking out! They have these peep show machine-things that, when you put a quarter in, it shows part of a woman's body. Come and see!"

This is gonna be good, I can tell.

The three of us walk a little ways down the sidewalk when, sure enough, I see legs covered in striped tights, swinging through a window above a door. It is obviously some kind of animatronic-thing, not a real girl, but it is eye-catching to say the least. We follow Emmett to the machines he was telling us about and he starts to demonstrate how to work them.

He puts a quarter in the slot and we stand there, waiting for the show to begin. There is a screen on the front of the machine that is all black. After a couple of seconds, the black starts to move upwards revealing red stilettos. We stare at it for a few seconds before the black moves back down, covering the screen again.

Jasper and I look up at Emmett. "And?" I ask.

"Keep watchin'," he replies as he puts in another quarter. Again, we watch as the black moves up, this time going over the heels and stopping at the girl's knee. We continue this pattern until the black stops just under the stripper's nipple. Another quarter, and we are still looking at the underneath of her breast.

"See? That's as high as it gets! It's a rip-off!"

I question my brother once more, "And? What did you expect, a full nudie show right here on the street? It's called a 'Peep Show' for a reason: you put in a coin and you get a peep!"

He looks at me like I just told him the Easter Bunny isn't real. "But, it's not fair! I put in a lot of quarters! I deserve to see tits!"

"Just how many quarters did you put in?"

He doesn't look me in the eyes when he quietly answers, "50..."

Jasper starts laughing loudly as he says, "Aww, man, don't worry about it. So, you wasted a few dollars on a machine. Now, let's go inside and see a real show!"

Emmett clears his throat. "Um, no, I mean, I spent 50...dollars..."

Jasper is bending over, slapping his thigh, and laughing as I start yelling at my dumb-ass brother. "Are you shittin' me? You spent $50 in quarters on that stupid machine?"

"Well, I thought it was stuck or somethin', so I kept tryin'. I was gettin' so frustrated. I don't like bein' teased...I just wanted to see some damn boobies!"

"I love you, man, but you're a _couillon_ sometimes," Jasper tells him. "Those machines are supposed to tease you to get you to go _inside_ the club, where you can see real, live, naked girls!" He slaps Emmett on the back before saying, "Now, come on. Let's go see some boobies!"

**A/N**:

**Jenny Kate**: So, what did everyone think of their wild night out so far? Pretty silly, right? I can't wait for y'all to find out what the girls were up to. That outtake should out pretty soon, as well.

A few things to clarify: The paddle that was described and it's description are real. The tag that Jasper reads is an exact quote from a website we innocently happened upon...for research purposes only, of course.

**Jiff**: Secondly, the Margaritaville cafe really does have a Cajun Cheeseburger with all of that extra meat piled on the patty with a Cajun cream sauce poured on top! I've never had it but I'd love to see it in person!

Lastly, the peep show machines I described don't really exist. At least, not how I wrote them. I 'remembered' something like them from one of my many trips to Nola many years ago but my husband tells me I'm crazy. He tells me I'm crazy all of the time, so I put them in the story anyway!

And, in case you forgot, _couillon_ is Cajun for **idiot**! ;-)

XOXO


	3. Outtake 3 It's Raining Men

**Disclaimer: We do not own any of the places, people, or quotes used in this outtake. All subjects were used for entertainment purposes only. This is also un-beta'd so all mistakes are ours!**

* * *

"Come on, Bella! I'm ready to get my night of drunken debauchery started!"

"Alright, keep your short skirt on." I look in the mirror one last time, checking my lipstick and running a hand down the back of the ridiculously short leather skirt that Alice insisted I wear. I guess it matches this blonde wig. What the hell am I doing? I look like Julia Roberts. I bet there's a stash of condoms in my knee high boots. I look in my bag to make sure I packed my dental floss. No hooker can leave home without it.

I swear, Alice could get me to perform acts of terrorism or something equally illegal.

We left the guys earlier today and went to our appointments at Fifi Mahoney's. They specialize in special occasion wigs. Rose said that we would have more fun if we went out tonight in disguise. We all got pampered with makeup and new outfits, along with wigs. I must say that we look hot. Rose is in a dark, short wig that really sets off her petal-colored complexion and blue eyes. Alice is in a flame-red wig with sparkly silver and black eyes and long fake eyelashes. I guess it is appropriate since New Orleans is probably one of the most costumed cities in the world.

Heading out, we feel like we could get away with anything, like the night is ours.

We decided to have an early dinner at Emeril's. Rule number one in professional drinking is priming the pump. For guys, that means, having some beers before you leave the house. For girls, that means eating some carbs so that you can handle all of the liquor you plan on drinking the rest of the night.

Rose has been raving about how good this place is. I wasn't even hungry until we stepped in the front door but the smell is amazing and I am suddenly ready to eat everything on the menu.

When we get seated, Rose signals the waitress from the table and a few minutes later, she brings a tray of penis-shaped shot glasses. Rose stands up from the table and raises her glass and says, "Here's to being single, drinking doubles and seeing triple."

"Cheers!" We all toss back the Patron and feel the burn of our first shot of the night.

We sit around our table, drinking from penis straws, and enjoying our food. The liquor flows and the laughter grows. I can already tell this will be a night to remember.

As we leave the restaurant, Rose pulls a tiara from her bag of tricks and places it on Alice's head. "You'll need this for the next stop." She smiles at Alice and slides a sash over her shoulders that reads, "Last Fling Before The Ring". A white limo pulls up and Rose motions for us to get in.

"What the hell are you doing here?" My voice goes an octave too high, due to my surprise and excitement. Tyler gets out of the driver's side of the car and runs around to open the door for us.

"Emmett called me. He was worried about you girls being out on the town all by yourselves," he says, while giving us the once over. "I see now why he would be worried!" Tyler laughs as he helps us into the limo.

"That is so sweet." I feel the liquor making me a little sappy. I'm glad I'm not an angry drunk. "You realize how much he loves you, right?" I ask Rose, as Tyler drives off, headed to our next destination.

"I know he loves me. I can see it in the way he looks at me and in the way he treats Carter. I don't know what took me so long."

"Well, you two are together now, that's what's important," Alice chimes in, "and you're perfect for each other."

"We are not going to sit around talkin' about me and Emmett all night," Rose taps the glass and Tyler rolls down the divider. "Could you please put our playlist on?"

"You got it." He rolls the window back up and Tone Loc begins to pound through the speakers. Another shot of Patron is tossed back and we begin to dance to the playlist. Rolling down the windows, we hang out the side of the car, yelling at bystanders. Tyler looks back at us through the side mirror and I see him shaking his head.

New Orleans feels alive. Everywhere I look there are people...people talking, people walking, people dancing, people working, people singing. The city is just full of motion. I look back in the window and see Alice. She has a smile plastered on her bright red lips. I slide a little closer to her, "Hey, Al."

"Hey!"

"Are you happy?"

"Happy doesn't even begin to describe it." She looks at me with sincere eyes.

"Good."

Rose slides back in and squeezes in beside us on the shorter seat. "Are you girls ready to really live?"

Alice and I both giggle at her enthusiasm, the alcohol doing it's job. "Absofuckinlutely!"

The limo comes to a stop and Tyler opens the door for us, letting us out right at the entrance to the building. "Hey, Rose. Call me when you're ready for me to pick you girls up...and whatever you do be careful. I promised I would get y'all back in one piece and I don't want a Cullen Brothers beat-down." He winks at her and watches us as we walk through the front door.

"This, Ladies," Rose motions toward a darkened room with a large stage, "is LA Hardbodies."

Just as we get set down at our table right in front of the stage, fog begins to cover the floor and the lights dim. A man in chaps and a cowboy hat comes out. He walks to the end of the stage and is standing right in front of our table. "Good evening, Ladies. I'd like you to give a nice, warm Louisiana welcome to the hardest bodies in the South!"

The music starts up and the cowboy turns around, exposing his bare ass. Cheers erupt all around us and the show starts.

Six silhouettes appear on stage, all dressed in trench coats. Rose slides a stack of one dollar bills over towards me. "I expect this to be gone before we leave here tonight," she says, with a wicked grin on her face.

"_Humidity is rising _

_Barometer's getting low _

_According to our sources _

_The street's the place to go" _

The men step closer to the edge of the stage, extending the umbrella's they were holding.

"_Cause' tonight for the first time _

_Just about half past ten _

_For the first time in history_

_It's gonna start raining men"_

Alice starts screaming beside me and I can't help but laugh. This is so crazy. We have three ridiculously hot guys at our disposal, yet we're throwing dollar bills at greased up strangers, gyrating on a stage. Oh, what the hell? You only live once, right?

I join Rose and Alice, and let out my best whistle. My dad taught me that at all the Yankee's games we used to go to. I doubt he thought I'd be using my skills at a strip club.

"_It's raining men_

_Hallelujah_

_It's raining men...'_

The trench coats fly off to expose some well chiseled abs and pecs, covered by suspenders...just suspenders. I need to buy Edward some suspenders.

The guy in the front starts dry humping the stage and we all lose any shred of dignity we walked in here with.

Because Alice is the only bride-to-be here tonight, people keep sending shots over to our table. Every time we get one, we wait for the song and dance to end, and then we toast.

The toasts start out sweet and innocent.

"To Alice and Jasper, may their children have wealthy parents.'

The more shots we take, the less innocent the toasts.

"To Alice and Jasper, may all of your ups and downs be between the sheets!"

And even less innocent.

"Here's to lookin' like movie stars, livin' like rock stars, and fuckin' like porn stars!"

The sound of Genuwine pounding over the speakers gets mine and Alice's attention. He's an old school favorite of ours. A guy in a hooded sweatshirt and baggy sweatpants walks onto the back of the stage. The crowd goes wild for him. Apparently everyone here, except us, already knows who he is.

My lips are numb. This is a bad. Any time my lips go numb, it's a good indicator that I am drunk. Not tipsy, drunk.

Sweatpants guy is moving like I have never seen anyone move before. He's doing things with his hips that I didn't even know was possible. As he makes his way to the end of the stage, he makes direct eye contact with Alice. In one swift move, he hops off of the stage and crawls up to her, placing his hands on her hips. Before I know what's happening, he has Alice up on stage and he has his cock right in her face. All that is separating her from it, is a thin piece of lycra.

RPOV

When the dance is finished, I help the bachelorette off of the stage, giving her ass a nice little slap. She is so fucking cute with her red hair and short mini skirt. If she wasn't already taken, I'd be slipping her my number...and maybe a little something else at the end of the night. The other two girls sitting at her table are hot, too. As I give them a wink, I catch a good look at the dark haired one. If she were a blonde, I'd swear that it was Rosalie Whitlock.

I forget about it and get back to the stage.

The next time I'm up, I head straight for the bachelorette table. Every guy on our team knows that you can make some damn good money by catering to the bride-to-be and her entourage.

The blonde one seems eager and completely drunk. She's also gorgeous...and from the looks of her third finger on her left hand, unattached. I pull her up on stage with me, and begin grinding into her. I pull back to take my shirt off, and I get a really good look at her face. She's pretty, alright, and if I'm not mistaken, she looks an awful lot like Edward's Yankee girlfriend that I met at his birthday party. Something is up with these girls. I continue dancing and stripping down to my g-string, when I back up into her and feel her hands on my ass. This is the kind of reaction we are going for, but I have a bad feeling about this one.

As I'm working the whole stage, I look back again at the dark haired woman who is sitting at the table, she's whispering and giggling with the redhead. There is no fucking denying that is Rosalie. Fuck. Which means that the girl I've got on stage with me right now, who is currently squeezing my ass, is Edward Cullen's girlfriend. Fuck. I turn around and face her, the dance is coming to an end. She has her head thrown back, laughing, and enjoying the spotlight. Her friends are cheering her on, encouraging her further.

I try to get her to go back to her seat, but she yells over the music, "The music isn't finished! Dance, Mr. Hardbody!"

I suddenly feel her hand cupping my dick. Oh, that is it. Edward will cut my fucking balls off, if he knows that I let his girlfriend grope my package.

"Sorry, honey, but touching is against the law!" I tell her, as I remove her hand.

"I don't see any cops, besides you! Where'd your holster go?" She raises an eyebrow at me, suggestively.

"All part of the show, sweetheart. I think you should go back over and have a seat with your friends." I use a little more physical force than I normally would, and place her back in her seat.

When I make it backstage again, I breath a sigh of relief. Close fucking call. I laugh a little to myself, as I wipe the sweat off my face with a towel. Edward sure does have his hands full with that one. I think he might have finally met his match.

* * *

**A/Ns**:

**Jenny Kate: ** Hope you guys are liking these little extra shots of SoCo! I know Jiff and I are having fun writing them. We kinda sorta don't want to let these characters go, so this is giving us a little more time with them. Be sure you put _**An Extra Shot of SoCo**_ on alert, because we will be posting other outtakes/futuretakes/pasttakes, even after the final chapter posts!

**Jiff**: And, please, remember to login to ffn if/when you review. We've received some great "anonymous" reviews but we can't respond to them and that makes us sad! I know it's a pain but we really do appreciate it!

**Jenny Kate**: The final chapter of SoCo will post on Saturday. We had initially thought we would post it earlier in the week, but with all of the things going on in the fandom, we need a couple of extra days!

* * *

**Our thoughts and prayers are with TwiFanG's family and friends. Gisela (also known as mad4hugh on Twitter) was a fellow Twihard who tragically lost her life due to a freak accident at SDCC. There is a fund set up to help her family with funeral costs and a compilation is being put together by Fandom4TwiFanG. You can find links to both on our Facebook page. We will be contributing to the compilation, along with a lot of other popular fic authors. You won't want to miss out!**


	4. Outtake 4 Emotions

**Disclaimer: We own nothing as usual. I do want to warn you that this outtake deals with a serious topic. We don't go into great detail so, hopefully, it won't be too sad but we do not mean to offend anyone. We tried to include the topic in the story while keeping it light at the same time. I hope it worked. **

(EsPOV)

What is wrong with me? Why am I doing this to myself?

I wipe my nose with a tissue and throw it on the floor, adding to the mountain of cleaned-up snot and tears that I've made this afternoon. Why I thought it would be a good idea to watch Titanic today is beyond me. I saw the movie when it first came out in theaters and vowed to never watch it again because it broke my heart, but when I saw it at the store this morning, I just had to buy it.

I also had to buy 2 gallons of Blue Bell ice cream. And a bag of Milano cookies. Okay, 3 bags of Milano cookies. That would explain why I am also sick to my stomach.

After buying groceries, I decided I need a little pick-me-up so, I drove to my local coffee place and ordered my usual iced Chai latte. It wasn't until I was about 5 minutes away that I realized the barista made my order wrong. Normally, I would've turned back around and made her re-do my order, but not this time. Nope, this time I cried. All the way home. And I've been crying ever since thanks to Mr. DiCaprio and Ms. Winslet.

I am not a crier.

Don't misunderstand. I am not devoid of emotions. In fact, I consider myself to be a very emotional person but only in regards to the emotions I like. For example, I feel serenity when I work in my gardens and greenhouse. I feel joy when I am with my family. I feel ecstasy when I make love to Carlisle. I feel anger when I have to deal with stupid people. See? Those are _fun_ emotions.

But feeling sad? That is no fun at all. I don't want to wallow around with tissues stuffed in my bra and chocolate drizzled down my chin all day, so why am I doing it?

I started feeling this way soon after Bella came into our lives. Getting to know her and seeing my younger son fall in love with her has been a dream come true to me. I was happy, thrilled, for them both but I still felt the need to shed a few tears from time to time. When Emmett and Rosalie finally acknowledged their feelings for one another, I was overjoyed but I yet I had to fight the urge to cry.

As much as I hate to cry, I hate feeling confused even more. I'm a smart cookie and I don't like not knowing what is going on, especially when it concerns myself! I have tried and tried to figure out what is wrong with me, but I either lose interest, become bored, or fall asleep...not my usual behavior.

I have noticed, though, that I usually start crying the quickest whenever I think of my boys. I love them so much; they are my life. They have made it their life-long goal to keep me on my toes, and have reached that goal many times over, but I'm just crazy about them. I even thought about not coloring my hair and keeping my natural auburn shade, letting the gray hairs shine through as reminders of my boys, since they are the ones who gave them to me. But I soon came to my senses, and have had my hair color enhanced every 6 weeks for years now.

Am I upset that Emmett and Edward are moving on? Falling in love, getting married, having babies...it all means that they will move out of this house and into their own. I know that means they will be on the property and not in some other town, but still...

Shit. I'm crying again.

Enough of this. I'm gonna drive myself crazy if I don't get a grip soon.

I wipe the leftover moisture from under my eyes and stand up. Looking around, I notice that I am completely surrounded by tissues. I knew I had used a lot, but I hadn't quite realized the magnitude of my blubbering until right now.

I use the bottom of my shirt as a makeshift carrier and put all of the used tissues from the floor inside. I have just enough room in my shirt to also put the tissues from the coffee table and couch cushions inside. I carry my disgusting garbage to the kitchen and dump it unceremoniously in the trash can. While washing my hands, I come up with a plan.

I pick up the phone and dial Rosalie's number.

"Hello."

"Hey, Rosalie. How are you today?"

"I'm good, Esme. Just hangin' out with Carter."

"Wonderful! I was callin' to see if you and Carter would like to come over for a visit. Maybe go swimmin' or somethin'?"

"Yeah! That sounds great, Esme. We can be over in about 30 minutes, if that's okay?"

"That's perfect, Sweetie! Just come on in when you get here!"

"Thanks, Esme. Bye."

"Don't mention it, Honey! Bye."

When I'm feeling down, I can always count on Carter to cheer me up. I have loved that boy since before he was born. Even though he's not a Cullen by blood, he has always been considered a part of our family, just like Rosalie. It doesn't hurt that Carlisle and I have been lifelong friends with Rose's parents and have raised our kids together.

I always knew Rose and Emmett would end up together; I just didn't figure they'd both let their stubbornness keep them apart for so long. When Rose went off to college, I worried that she would meet someone else but the day she showed up in my greenhouse, crying and afraid to tell her parents she was newly single and pregnant, I knew there was still hope.

I even tried to persuade the two of them to get married before Carter was born but my scheming didn't work. Emmett was afraid she would only think of him as just a substitute for her ex and Rose was simply afraid of getting hurt again.

I've tried to be patient but I just assumed I'd have a house full of grandkids by now.

Carlisle and I always wanted more children. After the boys were born, we tried to get pregnant and were successful until each time ended in miscarriage. After the 4th one, I decided to stop trying and just focus on my husband and 2 sons, who filled my life completely. I've been blessed beyond measure and I don't have any regrets but, sometimes, when I let myself think back to those day, I can still feel my pregnancy symptoms: queasy stomach, being so emotional and tired all the time...

Shut. The. Front. Door.

No. I can't be pregnant. Can I?

I know my symptoms are similar but I'm too old, aren't I?

Wait. One symptom I haven't considered is my period. When was my last one?

I run over to my purse and pull out my phone. With shaky hands I touch my calendar app and check when my last cycle started. I find the date and count until I get to today's date.

45.

45 days since my last period. That means I am over 2 weeks late. I guess with all the excitement of our three couples getting together and planning a wedding, I just never stopped long enough to notice.

But still. How is it possible after all these years? It suddenly occurs to me that, before I let myself get too excited, I need to take a pregnancy test.

I grab my keys and purse and am quickly walking to the door when Rose and Carter walk in, scaring the crap out of me.

"Esme? Are you okay? You did mean for us to come over today, right?"

"What? Oh, yes, of course! I just remembered I don't have any snacks for my little sugarbiscuit here," I say as I ruffle Carter's hair, getting a big toothy grin from him.

"Oh, we don't need snacks. We're fine, really."

"Nonsense! I'll just be a minute. Y'all go ahead and make yourselves at home. I'll be right back."

I leave them standing there, gaping at me, and head straight for my vehicle. As I am driving, it dawns on me that there is no way I can buy pregnancy tests in French Settlement. The whole town would know before I even made it home. That means I have to drive into the city.

After stopping at the first drugstore I could find in Baton Rouge and buying 2 of each brand of tests they had, I am finally pulling into my driveway. I look at the clock on my dash and cringe. I've been gone for over an hour. That means that Carlisle is probably home by now and Rose is certain to be worried because she knows it doesn't take that long to go to the local grocery store.

I look at my phone and see that I have missed calls from both of them. I had turned my phone off earlier because the various notifications I was receiving gave me a splitting headache. They must be worried sick.

Oh, well. No time to think about it. I've got to get in the house so I can start peeing on some sticks.

I enter through the front door because it is closer to the master suite and I slam it in my haste to get to my bathroom quickly. I dump the contents of my shopping bag onto the counter, before turning on the faucet and splashing my face with the cool water, willing myself to calm down.

Just as my heart beat starts to return to its normal rhythm, the bathroom door flies open. I quickly turn around, trying to block the counter, and see my husband standing in front of me. He is wearing a sweatshirt, shorts, and socks and he is eating ice cream.

"Carlisle, what the hell are you doing dressed like that and eating ice cream?"

"Baby, I have to dress like this to keep warm. It's colder than a witch's titty in here!"

"You're exaggerating! I feel fine!" I try to wipe the bead of sweat that is running down my check on the sly, but Carlisle raises an eyebrow at me and I know I've been caught. I try to distract him.

"That still doesn't explain the ice cream. If you are so cold, why are you eating a frozen dessert? A frozen dessert that you are not supposed to eat very often? A frozen dessert that you are not supposed to eat very often, especially before you've had dinner?" Now, I get to raise my eyebrow at him.

He swallows loudly and drops his spoon in his bowl. "I was hungry and I found this and you don't ever buy this flavor so I had to try it. And, besides, Esme, I am a grown-ass man. I can eat whatever I want!"

This time I raise both eyebrows at him.

"I'm sorry, Honey. Rose was worried about you. Then I became worried about you and I like to eat junk when I worried, you know this."

I can't help but laugh at my adorable husband. He hasn't changed one bit over the years and I am so thankful. I need to tell him what is going on.

"I'm sorry I worried you, Dear. As you probably noticed, I haven't been actin' like my usual self lately and I think I have figured out what the cause is."

"What is it? Is it bad?"

"No, it's not bad. I'm just not sure if it is what I really think it is or not. I was about to take a test or 10 to see what they say before telling you, but now that you're here, you might as well stick around."

"I don't have a clue what you are talkin' about, Esme. Wait a second. You left the house and now you're back with some kind of test to take...in the bathroom.. Honey, are you pregnant?" He looks at me with complete shock on his face. Who can blame him?

"I don't know yet, Carlisle, but I am having all of these crazy symptoms and my period is 2 weeks late, so I thought I'd just take a test and see."

The room is quiet for a minute before my husband lets out a loud "WHOO HOO!"

He puts his bowl on the floor and starts punching the air and dancing around the room like Sylvester Stallone did in those Rocky movies.

"Yeah! Fifty-five years old and my swimmers still work! Way to hit the bullseye, boys!" He then pulls off his sweatshirt and starts flexing his arm muscles. Men.

"Carlisle, calm down. I don't want you to get too excited. I haven't even taken a test yet!"

"Alright, fine! I'll go to the kitchen and start dinner for us and Rose and Carter. You holler for me when you need me." He kisses my mouth hard one time, then kisses it softly the next time, before walking out of our bedroom.

Okay, here we go.

I open the first package, read the directions, and sit down on the toilet. I am just about to start the test when something in my underwear catches my eye.

Blood.

It's not a lot, but I figure it is enough to not need the test anymore so, I throw it away.

I finish using the bathroom, wash my hands, and go to my bed. I just sit there quietly, thinking about everything that has happened in the past couple of hours.

I thought I might be pregnant, but I'm not.

I take a deep breath and wipe the tears that have slipped down my cheek. I let myself grieve for a moment, but that's really all I need. My head clears and I realize that I am okay. I really am. Of course, I am disappointed but it was silly to let myself think being pregnant was a possibility for me anyway. Besides, our family has doubled just in the past few weeks. I'm sure those grandbabies I want will be here soon enough.

How does that saying go? The great thing about grandchildren is that you can spoil them rotten and then send them home with their parents? I smile to myself. Yeah, I like that. I like that a lot.

I walk into the kitchen where I see Carlisle, Rose, and Carter eating pizza.

"This is what you call 'fixin' dinner'?"

"Well, it's what Carter wanted and, besides, Rose ordered it when we were talkin' in our room. I had nothin' to do with it."

"Sorry, Esme, I just thought it would be easier to order pizza and I wanted to do it to say 'thank you' for letting us use your pool today," Rose says.

I walk over to her and hug her tightly. "Thank you. And, I'm sorry I've been a crazy mess this afternoon. Will you two stay and watch a movie with us?"

Rose smiles at me, "Of course, Emse. We'd love that."

The next day Carlisle and I are at my gynecologist's office. After I told Carlisle that I wasn't pregnant, he thought I should go to the doctor and get checked out anyway.

Dr. Renata comes in and sits in front of us. "So, tell me what's been going on, Esme."

I tell her the symptoms I've noticed and I admit to buying 10 pregnancy tests. I also mention the spotting I experienced yesterday, even though it stopped pretty soon after it started.

"You mentioned crying a lot. What else? Have you been irritable lately as well?"

Carlisle pipes in, "Well, Doctor, that is one of Esme's personal traits. How do we know what is too irritable for her?"

That got him a poke in the ribs by my elbow and I feel no remorse as he begins coughing through his pain. Ok, so, maybe I'm a little bit more irritable than usual.

"Esme, I think I know what's going on here but I'd like to do a physical before I make any kind of diagnosis, alright?"

"Yes, that's fine. Whatever you need to do."

After writing down my symptoms, taking blood, and doing a pelvic exam, Dr. Renata is back in her seat across from Carlisle and me.

"Esme, you're going through menopause."

What?

"What? Me? I can't be goin' through 'the change' yet! I'm only..." I let out a deep breath. "...53 years old. That's still young, isn't it?"

Dr. Renata smiles at me. "Yes, Esme, you are still a vibrant and vivacious woman and you are just in the early stages. Don't let this get you down and make you feel old. This is a natural process and every woman goes through it."

This has truly been a crazy couple of days. I think about what the doctor just said.

"You're right. This will be fine. And, if I start feelin' bad about it, I can just remind myself that I no longer need birth control or feminie products!"

Dr. Renata laughs as she walks out the door. I notice then that Carlisle hasn't said a word since hearing my diagnosis.

I put my hand on his knee. "Carlisle? Honey, are you okay?"

He looks up at me and sighs deeply. "Are you okay, Baby?"

I smile and kiss him. "Yes, I am. I'm just relieved to know what's been causing me to act like a lunatic all these weeks and that it isn't anything too serious."

"Me, too. I'm also thrilled to know that this is no reflection on my swimmers! I still got the goods!"

I punch the top of his arm and he cries out in pain. "I can't believe you said that! Now, stop bein' an ass and let's go get some ice cream!"

He rubs his arm a few more times, his smile never falling. "You got it, Darlin'. Then, can we have sex? I hear, its really good when you don't have to worry about birth control!" He winks at me.

I can only laugh and roll my eyes at him. Men!

**A/Ns**:

**Jiff**: Just a quick reminder to watch the **Breaking Dawn Part 2 panel at Comic Con** tomorrow! You can find the livestream on and it starts at **12 CST/1 EST**!

If you are at CC, be safe, have a blast, and pick me up lots of goodies from the BD2 and The Hobbit booths! Oh, and take lots of pictures!

**Jenny Kate**: ME TOO! I want stuff too! But Jiff can have all my Hobbit stuff. Oh, btw, Jiff, I have an EW w/ The Hobbit on the front...you want?

**Jiff**: Sure! I never did get the BD2 EW because my town sucks donkey balls!

**Jenny Kate**: Damn it. The one time I don't go overboard and buy a dozen copies. That's ok. We'll find you an issue. There's always Amazon.

Jiff: True. Plus, I still need to order that French mag with the freaky Rob pics... you know the one.

**Jenny Kate**: Premiere? I need that one too! The one where he's wrapping an electric razor cord around his neck and fraternizing with preggo lady?

**Jiff**: That's it! It's an ode to David C's other films.

**Jenny Kate**: I love that one! We definitely need that. I'll have to find that link to that Magazine Cafe place I ordered our UK Glamour from. I'm sure they'll have it.

**Jiff**: This is un-beta'd except for when JK and I just read over it. But, we've also been reading Comic Con tweets at the same time so, there's that. My hubby hasn't even read it so, please excuse any mistakes!


	5. Outtake 5 Hookergate

**Disclaimer: We do not own Twilight...or a hooker. This outtake is completely unbeta'd or pre-read. All mistakes are our own...feel free to tell us about them in the reviews. This particular outtake was suggested to us by a reader and we thought it'd be fun. Hopefully, you'll think so, too.**

* * *

**J(ake)POV**

"Leah, you know that we only have dinner on Wednesday nights."

"Jake, it is ok to break out of the mold. We don't always have to have dinner on Wednesday nights! And we don't always have to eat lunch at this damn cafe. And we don't always have to have sex on Tuesdays...missionary style!"

"Say it a little louder. I don't think all the crack dealers heard you," I whisper-yell at her across the table.

Interrupting our conversation, a hand brushes against my shoulder and a whispery voice fills my ear, "Hello, Jake. Long time, no see." I look up and see what can only be described as a street-walker...a hooker...staring down at me like we're best friends, or worse.

"I'm sorry. I don't believe we know each other," I say, as I turn toward her.

"Oh, but we do. In fact, we know each other extremely well," she says, brushing a finger down the collar of my suit jacket.

I clear my throat, uncomfortably and look across the table at Leah. She is glaring at me. If her eyes shot flames, I would be on fire.

"Baby, I swear. I have no idea who this woman is." The hooker is now running her hands through my hair at the nape of my neck. OK, that's enough.

I stand up, throwing my napkin down in my seat.

Leah lets out a frustrated sigh from where she's sitting. "Who the hell is this, Jake?" Her hands are gripping the side of the table. Fury is written all over her face. "If you don't know her, then how does she know you, huh?"

"Listen, Honey. Jake and I go way back, and if it wasn't for his undersized dick, we'd still be knockin' boots; but I just don't have time for men of his caliber. I've got bigger fish to fry." Her hand slides from my shoulder, around to my ass and she grabs it firmly. "However, he has a mighty fine ass. I have missed that."

"Get your hands off of me!" I pull her hand from my ass and turn back toward Leah. "You have to believe me. I've never seen this woman before in my life. Why would I lie to you?"

"Oh, I don't know, Jake? Why did you lie to your last girlfriend? I don't know why I thought it would be different," she says, shaking her head and gathering her purse. "I guess I'm just stupid and a glutton for punishment. Once a cheater, always a cheater!" She slams her napkin down on the table and stomps off in a rage.

"What the fuck is your problem and how the hell do you know my name?"

"Wouldn't you like to know. This was easier than I thought it was going to be. Well worth the fifty bucks and the nice little bonus I'm going to get for making that pretty little girlfriend of yours tuck tail and run." She laughs, as she jets out across the street.

I'm so fucking pissed right now and I feel like I'm tripping on LSD or something. Not that I've ever taken anything like that...but what the hell just happened? My head is spinning, so I sit back down in my seat, trying to get a grip on the last ten minutes.

I turn around and look to where the hooker had crossed the street. I'm in the right mind to track her down and grill her until she tells me who put her up to that. How in the hell am I going to explain all of this away? Leah will be pissed off forever.

I catch a glimpse of her sparkly shoes, and follow her long legs up, until I see them. I'd know that long brown hair anywhere, and Alice is a hard one to miss. Fuck me. I should go over there and say something, but what would I say? They just wave at me and walk off.

I suddenly remember that Leah ran off. I need to find her and try to make things right. I also feel like I need to catch a taxi to my apartment and shower. I feel disgusting. No telling where that hooker's hands have been. The thought of it gives me full body shivers.

I look at my watch and realize that I am more than thirty minutes late getting back to work.

Shit.

Forget finding Leah or showering. I've got to get my ass back to work. My boss has been harping on everyone to be productive and being thirty minutes late getting back from lunch is not going to sit well with him. Hopefully, he'll be in a meeting and I can slide in without being noticed.

I walk to the corner and wave down the first taxi I see. I could walk, but I'm late and I don't want to feel any more disgusting than I already do. Besides, my suit would get wrinkled. Then, I would have no choice but to go home and change. I peek over the seat and try to see my hair in the rearview mirror of the taxi. Still looks pretty close to perfect.

When the taxi pulls up outside of my office building, I hand the driver some cash and head inside.

I don't see anyone except the receptionist as I walk in the front door. I walk with my head down and head to my office, trying to fly under the radar. I let out a breath of air walking into my office. Made it.

"Hello, Jake." My boss is sitting at my desk with his feet propped up.

Fuck.

"Good afternoon, Sir." Just play it cool.

"I was really hoping my speech in the last meeting about being productive would be taken more serious."

"Oh, yes, Sir. I took that very serious, Sir."

"Well, then, how would you explain your complete disregard for our strict sixty minute lunch policy?"

"I can explain, Sir. It really was out of my control."

"Please, Jake. Have a seat. Explain to me why it was out of your control."

What the hell am I supposed to say to that? Funny thing, Sir, my ex-girlfriend had a hooker hit on me while I was sitting at lunch with my current girlfriend...fuck, fiance. Yeah, that's going to go over smoothly. How the hell did I get myself in this position. This is not me. I am always in control, but since the day that Bella walked out of that restaurant, my life has been the complete opposite. Leah talked me into proposing to her. Bella isn't around for me to talk to. I never realised how much I depended on her insight and advice. I had a hooker put her nasty hands all over me and I've suddenly become the office fuck up.

"Jake, I'm not waiting all day. You either sit your ass down and tell my why you are late, or you're fired."

Shit. Shit. Shit.

This is one of those moments. You know, those out of body moments that people talk about. You see yourself going through the motions, but it's like you're watching from across the room. I'm going to have to say something. I can't lose my job.

"I had a fight with my girlfriend."

He's sitting in my chair, feet propped up on the desk, resting his chin on his hands. His facial expression hasn't changed and I feel the beads of sweat forming on my brow. My throat feels tight.

"You're fired."

"But, Sir, there was nothing I could do. Please tell me you understand. I'm sure you've had woman problems before."

"Jake, you've been distracted and a second-rate employee for the last month. An argument with your girlfriend is not a good enough excuse for being late back to work. You should take care of your personal problems on your own time. I have no use for stuff like that in my company."

He stands up out of his chair and walks around the desk.

"You used to be one of my best employees. I suggest you take some time to reevaluate your life and find a way to get your priorities in check. In the meantime, I want this office cleaned out by the end of the day." He pauses for a moment by the door. "Jill will be by to make sure that you only take things that belong to you."

That's it. After five years of hardwork and dedication, that's it? I take a step toward my desk and sweep my arm across it, clearing off the entire contents onto the floor.

"You break it, you buy it, Jake! I'll take it out of your final paycheck!" I hear Mr. Clearwater from down the hall. "And take a shower...you smell like a hooker!"

Fuck him. Fuck this job.

My cell phone buzzes in my pocket.

"Meet me at my apartment after work. We need to talk."

Fuck my life.

* * *

**He totally had that comin' to him, right? )**

**We are currently (like while you're reading this) working on the final chapter of SoCo. We originally said that it would be posted on Saturday, but that was before the epicness that was Comic Con 2012 came into our lives. We're still aiming for some time tomorrow, but it could be Sunday. Thank you guys SO MUCH for taking this journey with us. We appreciate you reading our story and your friendship! We love you all! JiffyKate**


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